1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
