I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
