on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
