dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The ass gains better be worth it
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