respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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