Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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