ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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