You're so nebulous sometimes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize