His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
