I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
