singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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