They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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