i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
