So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
