Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize