I must be too annoying 4 u.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
