I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
