this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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