I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
