This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
