D3 body, D1 cock
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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