I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
