You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize