There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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