Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
