It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
