I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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