the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
