You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
