he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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