How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
