Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
