That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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