You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize