whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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