I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
