He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Crop dusting thru forever 21
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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