at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
