Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
