We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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