You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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