I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
