I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
His nipple licking is glorious
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