I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
