the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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