the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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