He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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