My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
