The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
