the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I could make wine with my vomit
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
