he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize