i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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