absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize