2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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