goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize