I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
