we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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