That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
