He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
