I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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