And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
